TGIF

Well its Friday, the weekend before classes start back up and my roommates are back, and as college students are want to do, they are having a party. While I know I am welcome, there is little that I have in common. I can remember when I was that age, the silly things I would do... usually to try and impress women, or to just do fun.

But I have tried, and I am not that age. I would rather watch a movie or TV, and wish I had someone to do that with, but I have enjoy my own company. Like I talk back to the monitor about something I saw. Like from the series Mercy.

I found a great schematic for a house on line. It was simple and would have everything I would need. Simple. Then I saw another one that was bigger. I liked the looks of it too. But... the old me would want that bigger one. The me now... I won't say the new me as I am not new, just prioritizing what is important. In any case, the first plans I saw was simple... you walked in, there was a large storage room to your left. A little further on and there was the bathroom to the left and the master and only bedroom to the right; then it opened into the kitchen, dinning and living room. Simple. Clean. A nice log cabin plan. I would probably make the living room area larger to fit a fireplace, TV and lots of space for books. Probably the same in the bedroom. Higher ceilings maybe, but basically that's it. There were doors that lead to a deck. It was great. Dave Berry asked me what my dream was, what I wanted. Ok, that's what I would want.. on some land, away from people. I would have to have a garage... maybe that could attached via the storage room. And there I would also have a dog and cat rescue. Who knows, maybe even horses. Of course satellite surround sound, and all the toys I have missed out on. As while I love to travel,and have done so, in this day and age, I have found home and hearth more appealing. Unless I am with someone. The old adage of doing something with someone you care about makes it twice the fun is true. And on the walls, that didn't have windows I want pictures. Pictures of me on my travels. With my friends. I have always been behind the camera. I am only afraid that when I die, there won't be a photographic montage of the things I have done, the people I have known and where I have been. It seems that a lot of the times when I try and tell people I get the feeling that they don't believe me. Also, I guess in this case, this is the one thing I have always loved about seeing pictures at other people's homes: it shows them doing something. Since I left Kemper, I don't know if I have DONE anything. In a small part that's also why I want to volunteer with the Red Cross. I want to help and be able to say I helped with that. For no other reason but for me. And I want to help out at a Children's Hospital. I know there I can help. I guess I just want to be more useful and a better person. Some might say that I am trying to balance the scales or pave my way to Heaven. Nope. I have always said that I don't think I'll make it to the top... close maybe... but I would rather be in Valhalla, with men and women that wore the uniform. But, I know I would probably be just with the wanna bes, and that would be heart breaking. If Hawk is there and Holmes... I could take it. Maybe get weekend permits to see Dad and Mom and Grandma. I am sure that Blakefield, McCain, Chief... Patton, the Duke, etc are on the top. Would love to talk with them. But who knows. I think am tainted enough I feel... not to go down to the fire, but not good enough to go all the way. Who knows.